OK…let’s talk about golf.
Wow it’s spring time in New England. The snow is almost gone and I don’t need to break the dog off fire hydrants any more.
I decided over the winter that it would be a good idea for me to take up golf again after a 30 year hiatus because I am so much more relaxed now than I was in my 30’s. (Ya …right).
Long ago I also graduated with a degree in high energy physics. Now there’s a good idea…Tim and nuclear weapons! Any way, according to Newton’s Second Law of Motion, Force = Mass times acceleration. Now I always thought that Newton was a pretty bright guy and that I should play golf according to Newton. Therefore the only logical conclusion I could make was that if I hit a golf ball with all the force I can muster, clearly the ball will go further. What I did not fully anticipate is that the ball would go further up, further to the woods and further under water than originally planned.
Being a scientific kind of guy I have decided that if Newton has three laws of motion then Tim should have three laws (of golf):
The Law of Inverted Distance – The distance a golf ball will travel is inversely proportion to the acceleration of the downswing vector applied and directly proportional to keeping your head down.
The Law of Aquatic Suppression – Upon entry into a water hazard, the golf ball’s inertia will allow it to travel exactly one foot beyond the longest ball retrieval tool you carry in your bag.
The Law of Compassionate Support – Upon completing your swing anyone in your foursome is always happy to immediately say the four worst words in golf: ‘it’s still your turn’.
Now these guys are my kind of golfers:
Golfer Craig Stadler was once asked why he had started using a new putter. “Because the other one did not float too well” he replied.
Following one of his many Masters victories, Tiger Woods received a congratulatory telephone call from President Clinton. “Clinton invited Tiger to join him in a foursome”, Conan O’Brien explained, “and maybe play golf sometime.”
Japanese golfer Rsuneyuki Nakajima set a course record at the 1978 Masters by racking up 13 strokes on the par-5 13th hole.
Grady Little (Former Red sox Manager) liked to scatter marshmallows to confused opponents searching for their balls.
Conclusion: Live life like you play golf, live well and laugh often.